[ Her eyebrows rise slightly. She has to interject. ]
I am just as capable of handling you in this as I am in battle.
[ For him to believe anything else would be offensive.
All along she has expected him to be hostile, but if he wanted to harm her he has had ample opportunity, moments where they were unarmed and unarmored and entangled. Based on his behavior here -- and his behavior when they were students -- she would not be surprised to have him tell her their truce is over before taking an action that would end it.
What can he possibly think he would be doing to her if she agreed to take a less dominant role? Perhaps... she should go to the library later, to address lingering questions. ]
But I do not disagree. There are easier and more appropriate squares we can work through.
[ Even after her attention returns to her cup she can feel the weight of his eyes. To say she is glad for a moment's break is an understatement and one she has no intention of admitting to him, but his question takes her by surprise. She takes a generous drink of her tea before she answers. ]
[ Ah, there we go. Why does she always have to be so proud? Not once would he question her capabilities in the field of battle, but this isn't like war whatsoever-- and quite frankly, given the state of (in)completion of her card, he wouldn't think she's faring any better than he is.
And considering her following question, he's really starting to feel she doesn't even know much about her own squares. At least she asks instead of pretending to be in control, as she might have done, once; he'll call that progress. ]
Safe words. [ He repeats, with a hard swallow of his pastry. ] They are used in a domination and submission context, as a means to safeguard the submissive partner. Since there can be elements of pain, physical restraints or even dubious consent-- [ and he's not even going into downright non-con and rape fantasies because thankfully it's not a square for either of them, and because the thought still disturbs him far too much for words. ] --these words come into play as an indisputable warning, or a call to cease the act immediately.
[ There, a very clinical relaying of his thorough studies. Annette would be proud, though personally, Dimitri feels like his skin is about to melt and leave his bones exposed, anytime now; even the sip of tea he intakes feels chilly in comparison. ]
Given the nature of our agreement, it might be wise to establish them early on. Naturally, telling me to stop at any time would be enough under any circumstance, but if there is a possibility we might attempt that particular set of squares at a later point, then we could consider this training.
[ This time she's stubborn enough to keep her "oh" on the tip of her tongue, trapped behind her teeth. ]
When I spoke to a few people of the difference between domination and power play before, safe words were not mentioned.
[ It's an explanation, of sorts. She is not clueless about this, but... she obviously does not know as much as she thought and the return trip to the library begins to seem more necessary by the moment. And somehow Dimitri of the Arched Brow manages to recite all this as though he has practiced the explanation. Perhaps he has.
Could she be accused of holding her tea a bit like a shield again right now? Yes. ]
It was suggested to me that power play specifically emphasizes an imbalanced dynamic of power between partners and may involve playacting. If either of us is to play a role of some kind -- a more coerced role, specifically -- then I suppose I see the value of agreeing on key words ahead of time. When I am simply Edelgard, however, I think the word "stop" should be instructive enough, don't you?
[ She can't imagine saying that and not meaning it, especially within this context. ]
If we do attempt these more complicated squares then I think it would be wise for us to both agree on any... accessories used or acts that may be done ahead of time. As an example, I am unwilling to be bound. If you decide to assist me with my bondage square, you will need to be bound.
[ The slightest hesitation. ]
For someone of your effortless strength that may not be an issue at all.
[ ... hmm. He is the one who potentially has to beg, and he should be the one to be bound-- and these are both her squares, on top of it. He can't say he's all that surprised, but she really is too demanding, at times. ]
I find it hard to believe someone of your strength would have an issue with light binding. [ His tone is still measured even as his fingers drum on the handle of his cup, eyes still fixed on hers. ] A silken scarf could be employed for both, bondage and sensation play, for instance.
[ He can respect that if it's a personal preference or boundary, but he is not too fond of the implication he should yield to her every whim simply because of his unnatural physical prowess. ]
However, if you do not feel comfortable with the thought of being restrained, then I have no intention of imposing on you. Likewise, if you do not wish to rehearse the use of safe words in advance, we shall only agree on those when and if we do decide to tackle those squares; in the meantime, a simple "stop" should more than suffice.
[ Another sip of tea, and the cup lingers before his lips for a moment longer, a shield of his own. ]
If I do agree to being bound, though, then you must agree to not bring any weapons. Concealed or otherwise.
[ While they're talking of comfort levels, this should be reasonable enough, considering their usual standing. And yes, that includes the dagger he knows oh so well; we don't want any accidental knife play in the bedroom, now do we? ]
[ She had not thought of using something as simple as a silken scarf. His point is a fair one, an efficient one, and as far as bindings go she imagines that would be among the most pleasant possibilities.
But she will not bend on this and she's about to say as much when he continues. Fortunately, he doesn't actually protest her opinion... and she reminds herself that it is fine for them to disagree on things here. Within this conversation disagreeing on something means finding a different solution that they can agree on. It doesn't render the entire proposal pointless.
Not until it does.
And even if it did, it would not take much to convince herself that it is for the best. ]
I assume you are recalling my dagger. [ She shakes her head slightly. ] Do you truly think it fair to expect me to come to where you live -- where your weapons are housed -- without one of my own? If you agree to be bound, I will agree to disarm ahead of time. I will let you watch as I set my weapon aside. If you prefer, I could even tuck it inside one of your drawers until we have finished.
[ ... oh, hmm. He hadn't actually considered they would be carrying out their Auspicious Acts in his lodgings, but considering she came over because this was the best place they could think of for a private meeting... yes, it does stand to reason they would continue to do so in his apartment-- in which case, Edelgard does have a point. ]
Right you are. [ His eyes drop to the teacup in his hand, and this may be the first time during this conversation that he avoids her gaze on purpose. ] I should not ask you to part with it.
[ Not the dagger-- not the one he gave her, the one she's kept all these years, always on her person. That would be unfair to the both of them.
He fills the lingering silence with a bite of his pastry, ruminating on his meal and his feelings. With any luck, Edelgard will take it only as a pause to consider the compromise and nothing else. ]
If we do go through with it, you can leave your weapon with the rest of mine, and this way you will also know where I keep them. [ A show of good faith, in a way.] Would you find that acceptable?
[ Now she feels particularly aware of the dagger, hidden beneath her blouse this time. She makes him wait through another drink and a thoughtful mouthful of her pastry before she folds her hands on the surface of the table and gives him a nod. ]
I would accept that. And I apologize if I was wrong in my assumption that you would be willing to continue to meet here. If hosting makes you uneasy we should scout for a location where neither of us is expected. I am willing to do that at any time as well.
[ Another pause, shorter. She helps herself to her last bite of pastry. ]
[ This time, the shake of his head is immediate, secure in his decision. ]
There is no need to apologize. My lodgings were suitable enough for this meeting, and if you are not opposed to coming over more regularly, then we may continue to use it for privacy. As for further discussions...
[ Hmm. Maybe they should agree to stop apologizing so much, for starters? Although he supposes having this agreement would effectively eliminate the need for... a good number of the reasons that have driven either of them to apologize, so far. ]
Aside from being bound, is there anything else you would rather not have included in our future meetings?
[ He doesn't expect an extensive list off the top of her head, of course, but maybe something like... guidelines? Or just any other hard nos she can think of, really. ]
[ That also seems like a reasonable question. If only she had enough experience to give him what would feel like a better and more detailed answer. ]
I have not disliked anything we have done together.
[ While it warms her cheeks again to say it, this seems like the most basic and informative starting point. He was there: he has memories of what they did and did not do. ]
Being bound or otherwise incapacitated is the primary thing I would like to avoid. I haven't looked at many other cards, but I know there are at least a few possible acts that are much more sadistic than what I see on either of ours. I would not wish to burn you or cause long-term physical scarring and I would prefer to be treated with the same courtesy.
[ Is there a type of intimacy in it? Yes. Are her torturous childhood memories something she wants to combine with sex? No.
No.
How dry her mouth feels! She takes yet another sip of tea and notices that she has nearly finished it. ]
[ Not disliked anything they've done together, huh... Well. Yes, he definitely remembers what they did and did not do, and it is a relief that he hasn't offended her in any way, influenced or not. It's a good framework to start with, and he might have to get back to that soon, but first: ]
The same applies to myself, as well. Considering we share a square for marking, I can endure light scarring and even minor bleeding. [ Like the scratch of her nails, though he's not going to say that out loud. ] However, burns are something I would especially like to steer clear from.
[ She might have even spotted the larger burn scars on his back by now, and though they do carry a meaning he is proud to bear-- the memory that he has saved someone-- he would rather not associate any sexual acts to the tragedy that took so many loved ones from him. ]
As for what we have done before--
[ His own cup is still halfway down, but he notices Edelgard has almost run out of tea, so he reaches for the pot and leans over across the table to pour her some more. ]
Is there anything you would like to have included again in our meetings?
[ It's good hospitality and all, but perhaps he should've timed his question just a little better, instead of asking from this up and close, steam rising between them. ]
And then finds herself wondering if he's looked at himself in the mirror and examined the marks she left on him just as she has with her own mirror. Little dark splotches standing out on her skin, evidence of the path his mouth took. A reminder of what they have done.
As long as they continue this discussion it should not surprise her if her mind wanders to related incidents a bit, should it? It's almost a good thing that he leans over the table toward her to refill her cup, and the thought that he may be rising to kiss her is chased from her mind as quickly as it appears.
If she could will the heat out of her cheeks she certainly would. Part of her is startled by the question, and part of her thinks it just as reasonable as the last. They want it to be pleasurable intimacy. If nothing else, feeling good should help put them at ease.
Still, he monopolizes her attention entirely until he straightens. The way his hair falls forward when he leans, the laces at the front of his shirt, the pale gold sweep of his eyelashes. She barely even blinks. ]
I have enjoyed being licked. [ She has to quickly decide how far she is willing to go with this, and even though she expects her fair complexion to glow with heat she takes it the step further. He asked, and she is answering. ] I enjoyed having you in my mouth while your own was on me.
[ Does she go on to say that in the interest of fairness she would be willing to pleasure him orally until he reaches climax, whether or not he happens to be licking her at the time? Perhaps she'll sit on that particular thought until they are actually working on squares rather than sitting at a table and talking. There may not even be a need to speak of it before trying it. ]
[ For a moment, he fears he has crossed a line with his question; Edelgard isn't the type to hesitate, and even when she does allow herself a minute's pause to consider, she is hardly silent for quite this long-- or at least that has been his impression throughout this entire conversation. So he's about to reassure her there's no need to divulge it, but then she does answer and--
Hmm. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, if anything at all, but that is... a pleasant surprise. One that maybe brings memories of her sitting astride his face as though he was her own personal throne, imperious as ever, and then her splayed before his eyes with a leg draped over his shoulder, and as much as it had all been overwhelming at first, the more he thinks about it now, the more he... hmm. Hmmmmm!
Does this chair suddenly feel too small to accommodate him? Hmm, better shift in his seat a bit, maybe spread his legs slightly further apart. And take a generous swig of that tea? Yes, good idea, let's do that. ]
It would seem we are [ compatible ] on the same page, in that case. I rather enjoy having a sense of taste again, and making use of it.
[ As though inadvertently making a point, the tip of his tongue darts out between his lips to have a lingering taste-- and if his thoughts wander to other such flavors far less innocent than tea, well, he can't be blamed, can he? ]
I also enjoyed having you in my arms. [ Hmm. He did that a few times, though, didn't he? Better get more specific. ] Particularly, when I held you up against the wall.
[ And she thought she would start glowing before. Now, with his answer, she must fairly radiate heat. She can far too easily recall being sandwiched between him and the wall, her dress hiked up around her waist, his trousers open against the small of her back. His mouth ravenous. ]
We can try that again then, if you like.
[ Her mouth is so close to the rim of her cup that the tea inside ripples, and while she is pleased with how casual that sounded -- by her standards -- she is all too happy to absorb herself in the task of drinking tea for a moment. What he said before that isn't lost on her, though, and is she curious? Yes.
But is she also seizing an opportunity to ask about something that will probably make her blush yes? Yes. ]
Is your sense of taste something else that you regained upon your arrival?
[ Or it will make her blush less if she can avoid thinking about how eager he seems to taste her. ]
I was not aware that you were without one.
[ He is fortunate that she hired bandits instead of trying her hand at poisons. ]
[ If she does radiate heat, then he is hardly one to speak, since he is the same; the only difference is that it doesn't show on his face. ]
I kept private about it, and it was only known to my closest friends-- [ Because Certain People that may or may not look like vampires would have had a field day with that kind of information, now wouldn't they. ] --but yes, I was without it for several years.
[ He's not going to divulge the exact circumstances behind his former ageusia because neither is it relevant nor did she ask for it; better not further dig into his painful past without good reason. Instead, he can focus on the present, and how red really does seem to suit her, even as it dusts the pale skin of her face. He wonders if she is thinking of better memories. ]
For reasons beyond my comprehension, the magic or medicine of this place had it restored upon my arrival. [ His initial thought was that it was meant to serve the greater purpose of this island, and now that he has the experience to back it up? Yes, he can definitely, definitely see how having his sense of taste could encourage certain sexual acts. ] I may not be happy to be here, but I am grateful for both that and my eye.
[ Speaking of, his scrutiny falls upon her empty plate, and the untouched slice of cake between them. ]
Since then, I have enjoyed every opportunity that is granted to me. Whenever possible, I like to... [ He reaches over again, this time to nudge the cake towards her. ] ... indulge.
[ It was a meaningful pause, hoping to encourage Edelgard to give dessert a try, but the way he licks off that bit of frosting caught on his thumb might make more of a suggestion. Do forgive him, his manners have been lacking since those years in exile, you see. ]
She can understand how, despite the circumstances of their arrival and their inability to leave, he can appreciate what he has regained here. But she would be willing to give both an eye and her sense of taste if it meant returning home to finish what she started. She is so entangled in, so devoted to, changing Fódlan that at times she feels she is war. A blood-crimson provocateur, she will make the continent a a better place -- and place where no one else will experience what she did -- or know no peace.
Yet she sits here across a table from her most aggressive enemy while he nudges a slice of cake toward her. For a moment it's so perfectly surreal that she thinks she may wake up in her bed and laugh at herself. ]
Dimitri.
[ She doesn't wake up. Instead she watches, not without a sharp twinge of arousal, as he lifts his hand to his face and his tongue peeks out to catch the frosting on his thumb. It wasn't so long ago that she had his thumb in her mouth.
Eyebrows arched, she reaches for the accompanying fork and begins to carve the slice in two. ]
[ Her question earns a nod in response; it might not be the most accurate, as his loss of taste had started long before their days in the Academy, but he really doesn't want to dredge up more of that hurt right now; he's often attached to the past, but this much, he can let go of.
Her pointed reminder, however, he acknowledges with a small smile, and he pulls his thumb out of his lips with a slight pop. Ah, manners. ]
You would not let me forget if I had tried.
[ But no, he hasn't forgotten-- that Look of hers is never to be forgotten, not over the course of a meal, or the span of several years. So he waits until she's finished with the task and, ah, what do you know; whether consciously or not, she still seems to favor one half, just like she would as a child. That's one thing that hasn't changed.
The other is that Dimitri still favors her, and when he moves his own plate closer, it's so that he can take the smaller piece before she has the chance to pick. ]
And I hope you remember I have not had the chance to try the cake before, myself. It does look good, but perhaps you should proceed with caution.
[ Although if it does happen to be laced... well. At least the most important part of this conversation should be over with? ]
[ That small audible smack of his lips when his thumb retreats is accompanied by unbidden flare of heat, this time not in her cheeks. He has nipped her flesh, licked crisscrossing pathways across her skin, closed his mouth on her nipples. It may not be proper but it does not seem so inappropriate, under the circumstances, when she feels the urge to prod her own finger against his lips and let his mouth engulf it.
She only looks down again when he moves the plate closer and takes the piece of cake that she intended to, and she knows very well that he did it on purpose because he's playing the courteous host. Though she gives him a look again, it's milder this time. A small smile curves her lips. ]
You tell me to proceed with caution but you give me the larger piece. I have no choice but to question how careful you want me to be.
[ With that, she slides her half of the cake closer to her. Will it be so terrible if she indulges? If the cake does have an aphrodisiac effect they already have an agreement in place. There has never been a better time to be affected.
[ A rueful shake of his head, and despite the context of their entire conversation, this is what earns a blush from him-- the thought that he was inadvertently responsible for their first incident together, and more importantly, the implication that he could have planned this out on purpose, even though he did his best to prove his innocence at the time. ]
Unless you ate the entire piece in a single bite, I doubt that giving you the larger half would make much of a difference. Besides, I did offer to try it myself, beforehand.
[ And yet she's gone ahead and taken that first forkful before he does, so maybe he can say with some confidence she doesn't entirely mind his show of generosity. He might even go as far as believing she enjoys it, if her preferences haven't changed.
So rather than dwelling on implications that aren't there, he decides to go for a tentative bite of his own, taking his time to really savor it; before, he had to settle for smells and textures, and even the amount of care a person had place into their cooking-- Dedue and Flayn, while worlds apart in terms of skill, were both guilty of putting a smile on his face with every mouthful of their meals, and he's sure Annette would be the same, if she... had less accidents in the kitchen-- but now that he can actually taste the food, it's... well. It's an experience he's grateful for, and he even closes his eyes with a pleased hum rumbling in his throat; it's rich and buttery, and makes for a nice balance with the sugar.
That buys him an extra minute, enough to prompt a question when his eyes meet Edelgard's again: ]
So, what is your verdict? No unusual heat, I should hope?
[ He means it as a result of possible aphrodisiacs, unrelated whatsoever to the way his tongue flicks out to swipe his lips clean, leaving none of that creamy, creamy frosting to waste. ]
[ No unusual heat, he asks, as though they are in a position to tease each other about this now.
Or maybe it's a sincere question. Dimitri has dripped with sincerity in their every interaction here. On the rare occasions when he has teased or said something sexual it's been strikingly straightforward. ]
This is very good.
[ The only heat is the hint of warmth that has so rudely found its way back into her cheeks, and unfortunately that is not unusual tonight. The cake is very good, though. Moist and rich, the frosting sweet and--
And she really needs to stop glancing up just in time to catch him licking things. It's ridiculously distracting and she knows that's not due to some outer influence. No, this time she can put the blame squarely on the discussion they've had and her memories of what they've done together. ]
So far it seems safe. [ A short pause. Despite herself she smiles a bit as she helps herself to another bite. ] Thank you, Dimitri. You have been a generous host.
[ As per usual, it is a sincere question, because he really isn't the type to resort to tricks like that, and whatever teasing he does manage to pull off tends to be more... physical in nature. So when she does pass on her verdict and even thanks him for the hospitality, there's obvious relief in his smile, and genuine contentment, too. ]
Ah, think nothing of it. I am mostly glad it seems to be safe, though the flavor is quite the boon.
[ Speaking of, he'll take another forkful of cake to his lips, his smile lingering; if even he an barely hold back from having another taste, he can only imagine the inhuman effort such a dessert-enthusiast like Edelgard-- or like she used to be, anyway-- must be putting up just to be able to pace herself. ]
There is... something else I wish to ask you, if you do not mind. Regarding this agreement.
[ His eyes drop to the fork now lying on the edge of his plate, fingers still on the handle as though considering his options-- another bite, or perhaps his words? ]
Despite our impromptu alliance at the time of the invasion, and even though the thought had crossed my mind on occasion, I never imagined you would suggest an arrangement such as this. In fact, I recall you once told me you did not intend to encourage fraternizing with the enemy.
[ Don't get him wrong, he understands very well this arrangement doesn't make them friends, but it's still more than he expected from someone who otherwise didn't want to associate with him. ]
I suppose what I wish to know is, has something prompted this change?
[ She could almost dare to think of this enthusiasm he has about the way things taste as... cute. Which seems silly, and she hides the spontaneous quirk of her lips in her tea cup until it passes, sipping her tea with determined appreciation.
But then he begins to sound more serious, and as she lowers her cup again she looks down at her own plate and then, after a moment, back up to his face. As much as she hates to admit it, she supposes this too is a reasonable question. She had expressed a willingness to cooperate -- the trade of information, specifically -- but showed distinct disinterest in more than that.
For a while she had not even thought it an idea to seriously entertain. If not for an aphrodisiac who among their respective allies would cross that line? Perhaps Sylvain? Without an aphrodisiac she would not have crossed it herself. ]
There are several factors, I admit. Perhaps the most important is the one we have already acknowledged: the desire to reclaim a certain amount of control in a place that tries its best to get us to do what it wants. Accompanying that is a desire not to have to bare myself to a great number of people.
[ And here it helps that Dimitri has never breathed a word about her scars. He has plenty of his own, and perhaps hers are largely too precise to be mistaken for recklessness in battle but he has never drawn the slightest bit of extra attention to it. ]
Those coupled desires are persuasive but would not have been enough on their own. Not where my enemy is concerned.
[ She picks up her fork again, holding it idly. ]
However, I have since learned that those of us from the same worlds are not all from the same point in time. You may already be aware of this. Some of us come from quite different timelines, in fact. Have you met Constance von Nuvelle? She lives in the inn now. I had never met her personally before coming here, yet she knows me and claims to be fighting for my cause. I have spent months assuming that Ferdinand and I came from the same time and place but I recently discovered that he has seen me win the war. He spoke of my victory and the death of the Immaculate One. He was even familiar with Constance.
[ She pauses, not for long enough to let him interrupt. ]
Dorothea was briefly here and I am uncertain of what happened to her, but Ferdinand tells me she recalled a very different version of events. He would not go into detail, which makes me assume that she saw my defeat.
You are almost certainly not my Dim-- [ Oh, no. As soon as she says it she realizes how wrong it sounds. Her head gives a slight shake. ] --not the Dimitri I fight against. Which may explain why I have found you more mild-mannered than expected.
[ He wouldn't interrupt even if given the time or chance-- out of courtesy, yes, but also because he wants to understand her motives, to understand what drives her rationale and her actions, even if only for something comparatively inconsequential. If he can begin to figure out her priorities, the limits she'll push past, the lines she will or will not draw... perhaps there is hope for the future, still.
Except the more she talks, the more it seems it truly isn't a future they can share, for more reasons than one.
But he allows her to continue, his fingers now linked atop the table, eyes trained on her, though he occasionally does squint or tilt his head at the mention of an unfamiliar name-- Constance von Nuvelle? The Immaculate One? While he imagines five years is a lot of time to catch up on and that there must be much he hasn't learned of yet, none of that seems to ring a bell whatsoever. There's no way he can be so far out of the loop, is there?
The topic of Dorothea is one that earns a pair of hooked eyebrows from him, something that finally clicks in this exposition, though he doesn't bring it up just yet. Instead, he waits for her to complete her train of thought, and once it seems like she's finished at last, he takes a deep breath, followed by a generous sip of his tea. There is... a lot to process here. ]
I... had suspected something along those lines was at play. [ Hw begins, tone measured even as his mind scrambles through his recent memory. ] When I first arrived on this island, one of my own friends treated me as though she had not seen me in years. At the time, I thought the alcohol might have been at fault, but there is more to consider.
[ Like what Edelgard is telling him right now. Like the information he has heard, and the path he has seen. But should he tell her...? ]
Your allies in this place... they did strike me as particularly odd. Dorothea claimed to have been one of the Blue Lions, and fought at our side during the war. As for Ferdinand of House Aegir, he... also had a different fate.
[ That slight pause, that split second's hesitation might tell her more than his words reveal. He doesn't linger on it, though, and instead, blue rises to meet her again. ]
And though I cannot say with certainty, you feel different, as well. The Edelgard I know... does not smile as easily.
[ Not polite smiles like she's given him here, nor sad smiles like the one on his face right now. ]
[ She attempts to give him the same courtesy that he gave her, uninterrupted attention despite her mind racing ahead. It sounds as though he had more reason than she did to think that something was amiss, until recently.
If her eyes go a bit wide at what he says about Dorothea she tries to recover quickly. She was prepared for a great many possibilities after what she had already been told but not that Dorothea may fight for Dimitri. It briefly steals the breath from her lungs. Time and time again she has told herself that it would not matter how much of her path had to be walked alone, and when she has had no one else she has always -- until now -- had Hubert. But Dorothea, who is among her most dear.
Perhaps it shouldn't, but it stings.
Though it takes her a moment, she nods. ]
She told him that she saw him fall at the Great Bridge of Myrddin. A significant blow to my forces in more ways than one, if so. Fortunately what Ferdinand recalls sounds much more pleasant.
[ Do her smiles come easily? At times, she supposes, just as they always have. But war doesn't lend itself well to smiles unless you are victorious and meeting your goals. Perhaps this means what he recalls is closer to Dorothea's version of events. ]
I seem to be from a earlier point in time than most of us.
[ It's hard to tell what part of his revelation hits her the hardest, but the look on her face makes no room for lies; she is affected, more so than a general should be over the loss of a soldier. And it's just as hard to tell, whether he should be regretful to have given her the news, or happy that Edelgard-- this Edelgard, whenever and wherever she comes from-- hasn't lost her heart.
Still, a nod of his head is all the confirmation he can bring himself to provide; the events that transpired in the Great Bridge of Myrddin... it would seem Dorothea's recollection of them seemed to match his, at least. ]
Assuming that is correct, I do not think you hail from much earlier. Based on appearances alone, you do look exactly like the Edelgard I know.
[ Another subtle squint, as though he's studying her features with a bit more attention; her voice has grown graver, and though today she looks different, when he first arrived, she donned the same war dress and hair style as she did the last time they had met, during that brief parley. If she's not exactly the same, then at least a lot closer to his last memory than what she looked like, back in their Academy days. ]
Besides, if some of us do come from different timelines, does that truly matter? Other than all of us having attended the Officer's Academy and an ongoing war, is there a point of commonality between us?
[ Hmm. Ferdinand had not said exactly how much time had passed, but since he had also initially believed they were from the same time the war must progress quickly once the Professor reappears.
Dimitri can study her all he wants; though she feels a bit too aware of it, she doesn't begrudge it under these circumstances. ]
Does it truly matter?
[ She must be misunderstanding him because the answer to that question is so obvious to her. She knows no Ferdinand that doesn't live and die for her cause, so perhaps in a case like that it matters little. But it's disconcerting to her to have someone more familiar with her than she is with them, like Constance, and equally disconcerting to think that she let her guard down so much for a Dorothea who fought for Faerghus. That is not the Dorothea knows. ]
If there is a point of commonality for us all, I don't know what it is. Something at the Academy, perhaps. What I do know is that in some cases the differences matter to me to a great deal. [ As if to prove it, she hastily continues. ] I would be a fool to spend time with you if I thought I would be facing you in battle as soon as I left this place, but that Dimitri will have no recollection of this. No memory of any weakness he has seen, no strategy cobbled together through learning my habits.
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I am just as capable of handling you in this as I am in battle.
[ For him to believe anything else would be offensive.
All along she has expected him to be hostile, but if he wanted to harm her he has had ample opportunity, moments where they were unarmed and unarmored and entangled. Based on his behavior here -- and his behavior when they were students -- she would not be surprised to have him tell her their truce is over before taking an action that would end it.
What can he possibly think he would be doing to her if she agreed to take a less dominant role? Perhaps... she should go to the library later, to address lingering questions. ]
But I do not disagree. There are easier and more appropriate squares we can work through.
[ Even after her attention returns to her cup she can feel the weight of his eyes. To say she is glad for a moment's break is an understatement and one she has no intention of admitting to him, but his question takes her by surprise. She takes a generous drink of her tea before she answers. ]
Safe words?
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And considering her following question, he's really starting to feel she doesn't even know much about her own squares. At least she asks instead of pretending to be in control, as she might have done, once; he'll call that progress. ]
Safe words. [ He repeats, with a hard swallow of his pastry. ] They are used in a domination and submission context, as a means to safeguard the submissive partner. Since there can be elements of pain, physical restraints or even dubious consent-- [ and he's not even going into downright non-con and rape fantasies because thankfully it's not a square for either of them, and because the thought still disturbs him far too much for words. ] --these words come into play as an indisputable warning, or a call to cease the act immediately.
[ There, a very clinical relaying of his thorough studies. Annette would be proud, though personally, Dimitri feels like his skin is about to melt and leave his bones exposed, anytime now; even the sip of tea he intakes feels chilly in comparison. ]
Given the nature of our agreement, it might be wise to establish them early on. Naturally, telling me to stop at any time would be enough under any circumstance, but if there is a possibility we might attempt that particular set of squares at a later point, then we could consider this training.
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When I spoke to a few people of the difference between domination and power play before, safe words were not mentioned.
[ It's an explanation, of sorts. She is not clueless about this, but... she obviously does not know as much as she thought and the return trip to the library begins to seem more necessary by the moment. And somehow Dimitri of the Arched Brow manages to recite all this as though he has practiced the explanation. Perhaps he has.
Could she be accused of holding her tea a bit like a shield again right now? Yes. ]
It was suggested to me that power play specifically emphasizes an imbalanced dynamic of power between partners and may involve playacting. If either of us is to play a role of some kind -- a more coerced role, specifically -- then I suppose I see the value of agreeing on key words ahead of time. When I am simply Edelgard, however, I think the word "stop" should be instructive enough, don't you?
[ She can't imagine saying that and not meaning it, especially within this context. ]
If we do attempt these more complicated squares then I think it would be wise for us to both agree on any... accessories used or acts that may be done ahead of time. As an example, I am unwilling to be bound. If you decide to assist me with my bondage square, you will need to be bound.
[ The slightest hesitation. ]
For someone of your effortless strength that may not be an issue at all.
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I find it hard to believe someone of your strength would have an issue with light binding. [ His tone is still measured even as his fingers drum on the handle of his cup, eyes still fixed on hers. ] A silken scarf could be employed for both, bondage and sensation play, for instance.
[ He can respect that if it's a personal preference or boundary, but he is not too fond of the implication he should yield to her every whim simply because of his unnatural physical prowess. ]
However, if you do not feel comfortable with the thought of being restrained, then I have no intention of imposing on you. Likewise, if you do not wish to rehearse the use of safe words in advance, we shall only agree on those when and if we do decide to tackle those squares; in the meantime, a simple "stop" should more than suffice.
[ Another sip of tea, and the cup lingers before his lips for a moment longer, a shield of his own. ]
If I do agree to being bound, though, then you must agree to not bring any weapons. Concealed or otherwise.
[ While they're talking of comfort levels, this should be reasonable enough, considering their usual standing. And yes, that includes the dagger he knows oh so well; we don't want any accidental knife play in the bedroom, now do we? ]
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But she will not bend on this and she's about to say as much when he continues. Fortunately, he doesn't actually protest her opinion... and she reminds herself that it is fine for them to disagree on things here. Within this conversation disagreeing on something means finding a different solution that they can agree on. It doesn't render the entire proposal pointless.
Not until it does.
And even if it did, it would not take much to convince herself that it is for the best. ]
I assume you are recalling my dagger. [ She shakes her head slightly. ] Do you truly think it fair to expect me to come to where you live -- where your weapons are housed -- without one of my own? If you agree to be bound, I will agree to disarm ahead of time. I will let you watch as I set my weapon aside. If you prefer, I could even tuck it inside one of your drawers until we have finished.
[ She is not unwilling to compromise. ]
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Right you are. [ His eyes drop to the teacup in his hand, and this may be the first time during this conversation that he avoids her gaze on purpose. ] I should not ask you to part with it.
[ Not the dagger-- not the one he gave her, the one she's kept all these years, always on her person. That would be unfair to the both of them.
He fills the lingering silence with a bite of his pastry, ruminating on his meal and his feelings. With any luck, Edelgard will take it only as a pause to consider the compromise and nothing else. ]
If we do go through with it, you can leave your weapon with the rest of mine, and this way you will also know where I keep them. [ A show of good faith, in a way.] Would you find that acceptable?
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I would accept that. And I apologize if I was wrong in my assumption that you would be willing to continue to meet here. If hosting makes you uneasy we should scout for a location where neither of us is expected. I am willing to do that at any time as well.
[ Another pause, shorter. She helps herself to her last bite of pastry. ]
Are there other terms you would like to discuss?
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There is no need to apologize. My lodgings were suitable enough for this meeting, and if you are not opposed to coming over more regularly, then we may continue to use it for privacy. As for further discussions...
[ Hmm. Maybe they should agree to stop apologizing so much, for starters? Although he supposes having this agreement would effectively eliminate the need for... a good number of the reasons that have driven either of them to apologize, so far. ]
Aside from being bound, is there anything else you would rather not have included in our future meetings?
[ He doesn't expect an extensive list off the top of her head, of course, but maybe something like... guidelines? Or just any other hard nos she can think of, really. ]
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I have not disliked anything we have done together.
[ While it warms her cheeks again to say it, this seems like the most basic and informative starting point. He was there: he has memories of what they did and did not do. ]
Being bound or otherwise incapacitated is the primary thing I would like to avoid. I haven't looked at many other cards, but I know there are at least a few possible acts that are much more sadistic than what I see on either of ours. I would not wish to burn you or cause long-term physical scarring and I would prefer to be treated with the same courtesy.
[ Is there a type of intimacy in it? Yes. Are her torturous childhood memories something she wants to combine with sex? No.
No.
How dry her mouth feels! She takes yet another sip of tea and notices that she has nearly finished it. ]
And you?
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The same applies to myself, as well. Considering we share a square for marking, I can endure light scarring and even minor bleeding. [ Like the scratch of her nails, though he's not going to say that out loud. ] However, burns are something I would especially like to steer clear from.
[ She might have even spotted the larger burn scars on his back by now, and though they do carry a meaning he is proud to bear-- the memory that he has saved someone-- he would rather not associate any sexual acts to the tragedy that took so many loved ones from him. ]
As for what we have done before--
[ His own cup is still halfway down, but he notices Edelgard has almost run out of tea, so he reaches for the pot and leans over across the table to pour her some more. ]
Is there anything you would like to have included again in our meetings?
[ It's good hospitality and all, but perhaps he should've timed his question just a little better, instead of asking from this up and close, steam rising between them. ]
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And then finds herself wondering if he's looked at himself in the mirror and examined the marks she left on him just as she has with her own mirror. Little dark splotches standing out on her skin, evidence of the path his mouth took. A reminder of what they have done.
As long as they continue this discussion it should not surprise her if her mind wanders to related incidents a bit, should it? It's almost a good thing that he leans over the table toward her to refill her cup, and the thought that he may be rising to kiss her is chased from her mind as quickly as it appears.
If she could will the heat out of her cheeks she certainly would. Part of her is startled by the question, and part of her thinks it just as reasonable as the last. They want it to be pleasurable intimacy. If nothing else, feeling good should help put them at ease.
Still, he monopolizes her attention entirely until he straightens. The way his hair falls forward when he leans, the laces at the front of his shirt, the pale gold sweep of his eyelashes. She barely even blinks. ]
I have enjoyed being licked. [ She has to quickly decide how far she is willing to go with this, and even though she expects her fair complexion to glow with heat she takes it the step further. He asked, and she is answering. ] I enjoyed having you in my mouth while your own was on me.
[ Does she go on to say that in the interest of fairness she would be willing to pleasure him orally until he reaches climax, whether or not he happens to be licking her at the time? Perhaps she'll sit on that particular thought until they are actually working on squares rather than sitting at a table and talking. There may not even be a need to speak of it before trying it. ]
Is there something you feel similarly about?
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Hmm. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, if anything at all, but that is... a pleasant surprise. One that maybe brings memories of her sitting astride his face as though he was her own personal throne, imperious as ever, and then her splayed before his eyes with a leg draped over his shoulder, and as much as it had all been overwhelming at first, the more he thinks about it now, the more he... hmm. Hmmmmm!
Does this chair suddenly feel too small to accommodate him? Hmm, better shift in his seat a bit, maybe spread his legs slightly further apart. And take a generous swig of that tea? Yes, good idea, let's do that. ]
It would seem we are [ compatible ] on the same page, in that case. I rather enjoy having a sense of taste again, and making use of it.
[ As though inadvertently making a point, the tip of his tongue darts out between his lips to have a lingering taste-- and if his thoughts wander to other such flavors far less innocent than tea, well, he can't be blamed, can he? ]
I also enjoyed having you in my arms. [ Hmm. He did that a few times, though, didn't he? Better get more specific. ] Particularly, when I held you up against the wall.
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We can try that again then, if you like.
[ Her mouth is so close to the rim of her cup that the tea inside ripples, and while she is pleased with how casual that sounded -- by her standards -- she is all too happy to absorb herself in the task of drinking tea for a moment. What he said before that isn't lost on her, though, and is she curious? Yes.
But is she also seizing an opportunity to ask about something that will probably make her blush yes? Yes. ]
Is your sense of taste something else that you regained upon your arrival?
[ Or it will make her blush less if she can avoid thinking about how eager he seems to taste her. ]
I was not aware that you were without one.
[ He is fortunate that she hired bandits instead of trying her hand at poisons. ]
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I kept private about it, and it was only known to my closest friends-- [ Because Certain People that may or may not look like vampires would have had a field day with that kind of information, now wouldn't they. ] --but yes, I was without it for several years.
[ He's not going to divulge the exact circumstances behind his former ageusia because neither is it relevant nor did she ask for it; better not further dig into his painful past without good reason. Instead, he can focus on the present, and how red really does seem to suit her, even as it dusts the pale skin of her face. He wonders if she is thinking of better memories. ]
For reasons beyond my comprehension, the magic or medicine of this place had it restored upon my arrival. [ His initial thought was that it was meant to serve the greater purpose of this island, and now that he has the experience to back it up? Yes, he can definitely, definitely see how having his sense of taste could encourage certain sexual acts. ] I may not be happy to be here, but I am grateful for both that and my eye.
[ Speaking of, his scrutiny falls upon her empty plate, and the untouched slice of cake between them. ]
Since then, I have enjoyed every opportunity that is granted to me. Whenever possible, I like to... [ He reaches over again, this time to nudge the cake towards her. ] ... indulge.
[ It was a meaningful pause, hoping to encourage Edelgard to give dessert a try, but the way he licks off that bit of frosting caught on his thumb might make more of a suggestion. Do forgive him, his manners have been lacking since those years in exile, you see. ]
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[ That must have been an unpleasant change.
She can understand how, despite the circumstances of their arrival and their inability to leave, he can appreciate what he has regained here. But she would be willing to give both an eye and her sense of taste if it meant returning home to finish what she started. She is so entangled in, so devoted to, changing Fódlan that at times she feels she is war. A blood-crimson provocateur, she will make the continent a a better place -- and place where no one else will experience what she did -- or know no peace.
Yet she sits here across a table from her most aggressive enemy while he nudges a slice of cake toward her. For a moment it's so perfectly surreal that she thinks she may wake up in her bed and laugh at herself. ]
Dimitri.
[ She doesn't wake up. Instead she watches, not without a sharp twinge of arousal, as he lifts his hand to his face and his tongue peeks out to catch the frosting on his thumb. It wasn't so long ago that she had his thumb in her mouth.
Eyebrows arched, she reaches for the accompanying fork and begins to carve the slice in two. ]
I hope you haven't forgotten what I said.
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Her pointed reminder, however, he acknowledges with a small smile, and he pulls his thumb out of his lips with a slight pop. Ah, manners. ]
You would not let me forget if I had tried.
[ But no, he hasn't forgotten-- that Look of hers is never to be forgotten, not over the course of a meal, or the span of several years. So he waits until she's finished with the task and, ah, what do you know; whether consciously or not, she still seems to favor one half, just like she would as a child. That's one thing that hasn't changed.
The other is that Dimitri still favors her, and when he moves his own plate closer, it's so that he can take the smaller piece before she has the chance to pick. ]
And I hope you remember I have not had the chance to try the cake before, myself. It does look good, but perhaps you should proceed with caution.
[ Although if it does happen to be laced... well. At least the most important part of this conversation should be over with? ]
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She only looks down again when he moves the plate closer and takes the piece of cake that she intended to, and she knows very well that he did it on purpose because he's playing the courteous host. Though she gives him a look again, it's milder this time. A small smile curves her lips. ]
You tell me to proceed with caution but you give me the larger piece. I have no choice but to question how careful you want me to be.
[ With that, she slides her half of the cake closer to her. Will it be so terrible if she indulges? If the cake does have an aphrodisiac effect they already have an agreement in place. There has never been a better time to be affected.
Her first forkful is small. Just a taste test. ]
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Unless you ate the entire piece in a single bite, I doubt that giving you the larger half would make much of a difference. Besides, I did offer to try it myself, beforehand.
[ And yet she's gone ahead and taken that first forkful before he does, so maybe he can say with some confidence she doesn't entirely mind his show of generosity. He might even go as far as believing she enjoys it, if her preferences haven't changed.
So rather than dwelling on implications that aren't there, he decides to go for a tentative bite of his own, taking his time to really savor it; before, he had to settle for smells and textures, and even the amount of care a person had place into their cooking-- Dedue and Flayn, while worlds apart in terms of skill, were both guilty of putting a smile on his face with every mouthful of their meals, and he's sure Annette would be the same, if she... had less accidents in the kitchen-- but now that he can actually taste the food, it's... well. It's an experience he's grateful for, and he even closes his eyes with a pleased hum rumbling in his throat; it's rich and buttery, and makes for a nice balance with the sugar.
That buys him an extra minute, enough to prompt a question when his eyes meet Edelgard's again: ]
So, what is your verdict? No unusual heat, I should hope?
[ He means it as a result of possible aphrodisiacs, unrelated whatsoever to the way his tongue flicks out to swipe his lips clean, leaving none of that creamy, creamy frosting to waste. ]
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Or maybe it's a sincere question. Dimitri has dripped with sincerity in their every interaction here. On the rare occasions when he has teased or said something sexual it's been strikingly straightforward. ]
This is very good.
[ The only heat is the hint of warmth that has so rudely found its way back into her cheeks, and unfortunately that is not unusual tonight. The cake is very good, though. Moist and rich, the frosting sweet and--
And she really needs to stop glancing up just in time to catch him licking things. It's ridiculously distracting and she knows that's not due to some outer influence. No, this time she can put the blame squarely on the discussion they've had and her memories of what they've done together. ]
So far it seems safe. [ A short pause. Despite herself she smiles a bit as she helps herself to another bite. ] Thank you, Dimitri. You have been a generous host.
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Ah, think nothing of it. I am mostly glad it seems to be safe, though the flavor is quite the boon.
[ Speaking of, he'll take another forkful of cake to his lips, his smile lingering; if even he an barely hold back from having another taste, he can only imagine the inhuman effort such a dessert-enthusiast like Edelgard-- or like she used to be, anyway-- must be putting up just to be able to pace herself. ]
There is... something else I wish to ask you, if you do not mind. Regarding this agreement.
[ His eyes drop to the fork now lying on the edge of his plate, fingers still on the handle as though considering his options-- another bite, or perhaps his words? ]
Despite our impromptu alliance at the time of the invasion, and even though the thought had crossed my mind on occasion, I never imagined you would suggest an arrangement such as this. In fact, I recall you once told me you did not intend to encourage fraternizing with the enemy.
[ Don't get him wrong, he understands very well this arrangement doesn't make them friends, but it's still more than he expected from someone who otherwise didn't want to associate with him. ]
I suppose what I wish to know is, has something prompted this change?
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But then he begins to sound more serious, and as she lowers her cup again she looks down at her own plate and then, after a moment, back up to his face. As much as she hates to admit it, she supposes this too is a reasonable question. She had expressed a willingness to cooperate -- the trade of information, specifically -- but showed distinct disinterest in more than that.
For a while she had not even thought it an idea to seriously entertain. If not for an aphrodisiac who among their respective allies would cross that line? Perhaps Sylvain? Without an aphrodisiac she would not have crossed it herself. ]
There are several factors, I admit. Perhaps the most important is the one we have already acknowledged: the desire to reclaim a certain amount of control in a place that tries its best to get us to do what it wants. Accompanying that is a desire not to have to bare myself to a great number of people.
[ And here it helps that Dimitri has never breathed a word about her scars. He has plenty of his own, and perhaps hers are largely too precise to be mistaken for recklessness in battle but he has never drawn the slightest bit of extra attention to it. ]
Those coupled desires are persuasive but would not have been enough on their own. Not where my enemy is concerned.
[ She picks up her fork again, holding it idly. ]
However, I have since learned that those of us from the same worlds are not all from the same point in time. You may already be aware of this. Some of us come from quite different timelines, in fact. Have you met Constance von Nuvelle? She lives in the inn now. I had never met her personally before coming here, yet she knows me and claims to be fighting for my cause. I have spent months assuming that Ferdinand and I came from the same time and place but I recently discovered that he has seen me win the war. He spoke of my victory and the death of the Immaculate One. He was even familiar with Constance.
[ She pauses, not for long enough to let him interrupt. ]
Dorothea was briefly here and I am uncertain of what happened to her, but Ferdinand tells me she recalled a very different version of events. He would not go into detail, which makes me assume that she saw my defeat.
You are almost certainly not my Dim-- [ Oh, no. As soon as she says it she realizes how wrong it sounds. Her head gives a slight shake. ] --not the Dimitri I fight against. Which may explain why I have found you more mild-mannered than expected.
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Except the more she talks, the more it seems it truly isn't a future they can share, for more reasons than one.
But he allows her to continue, his fingers now linked atop the table, eyes trained on her, though he occasionally does squint or tilt his head at the mention of an unfamiliar name-- Constance von Nuvelle? The Immaculate One? While he imagines five years is a lot of time to catch up on and that there must be much he hasn't learned of yet, none of that seems to ring a bell whatsoever. There's no way he can be so far out of the loop, is there?
The topic of Dorothea is one that earns a pair of hooked eyebrows from him, something that finally clicks in this exposition, though he doesn't bring it up just yet. Instead, he waits for her to complete her train of thought, and once it seems like she's finished at last, he takes a deep breath, followed by a generous sip of his tea. There is... a lot to process here. ]
I... had suspected something along those lines was at play. [ Hw begins, tone measured even as his mind scrambles through his recent memory. ] When I first arrived on this island, one of my own friends treated me as though she had not seen me in years. At the time, I thought the alcohol might have been at fault, but there is more to consider.
[ Like what Edelgard is telling him right now. Like the information he has heard, and the path he has seen. But should he tell her...? ]
Your allies in this place... they did strike me as particularly odd. Dorothea claimed to have been one of the Blue Lions, and fought at our side during the war. As for Ferdinand of House Aegir, he... also had a different fate.
[ That slight pause, that split second's hesitation might tell her more than his words reveal. He doesn't linger on it, though, and instead, blue rises to meet her again. ]
And though I cannot say with certainty, you feel different, as well. The Edelgard I know... does not smile as easily.
[ Not polite smiles like she's given him here, nor sad smiles like the one on his face right now. ]
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If her eyes go a bit wide at what he says about Dorothea she tries to recover quickly. She was prepared for a great many possibilities after what she had already been told but not that Dorothea may fight for Dimitri. It briefly steals the breath from her lungs. Time and time again she has told herself that it would not matter how much of her path had to be walked alone, and when she has had no one else she has always -- until now -- had Hubert. But Dorothea, who is among her most dear.
Perhaps it shouldn't, but it stings.
Though it takes her a moment, she nods. ]
She told him that she saw him fall at the Great Bridge of Myrddin. A significant blow to my forces in more ways than one, if so. Fortunately what Ferdinand recalls sounds much more pleasant.
[ Do her smiles come easily? At times, she supposes, just as they always have. But war doesn't lend itself well to smiles unless you are victorious and meeting your goals. Perhaps this means what he recalls is closer to Dorothea's version of events. ]
I seem to be from a earlier point in time than most of us.
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Still, a nod of his head is all the confirmation he can bring himself to provide; the events that transpired in the Great Bridge of Myrddin... it would seem Dorothea's recollection of them seemed to match his, at least. ]
Assuming that is correct, I do not think you hail from much earlier. Based on appearances alone, you do look exactly like the Edelgard I know.
[ Another subtle squint, as though he's studying her features with a bit more attention; her voice has grown graver, and though today she looks different, when he first arrived, she donned the same war dress and hair style as she did the last time they had met, during that brief parley. If she's not exactly the same, then at least a lot closer to his last memory than what she looked like, back in their Academy days. ]
Besides, if some of us do come from different timelines, does that truly matter? Other than all of us having attended the Officer's Academy and an ongoing war, is there a point of commonality between us?
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Dimitri can study her all he wants; though she feels a bit too aware of it, she doesn't begrudge it under these circumstances. ]
Does it truly matter?
[ She must be misunderstanding him because the answer to that question is so obvious to her. She knows no Ferdinand that doesn't live and die for her cause, so perhaps in a case like that it matters little. But it's disconcerting to her to have someone more familiar with her than she is with them, like Constance, and equally disconcerting to think that she let her guard down so much for a Dorothea who fought for Faerghus. That is not the Dorothea knows. ]
If there is a point of commonality for us all, I don't know what it is. Something at the Academy, perhaps. What I do know is that in some cases the differences matter to me to a great deal. [ As if to prove it, she hastily continues. ] I would be a fool to spend time with you if I thought I would be facing you in battle as soon as I left this place, but that Dimitri will have no recollection of this. No memory of any weakness he has seen, no strategy cobbled together through learning my habits.
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