[ Aren't they a little past the point of feeling self-conscious about intimacy? They have an arrangement and have banged for the fun of it a few times now, like come on, Edelgard, step up your game??) ]
I did, actually.
[ Yes, having her bent over the desk for him was certainly a priority, but never underestimate the power of his double boners. Aroused as he was, how could he not have paid attention to a drawing of him that Edelgard had made? ]
That aside, yes, I would still be willing to. You did ask, after all.
[ And hasn't he told her that before, too? As long as it's in his power to do, she only needs ask. ]
[ Sex for fun is nowhere near the same level of embarrassment as knowing she presented herself to him over a desk's edge and blatantly encouraged him to rut because that was all that truly mattered at the time, moments before he saw a truly terrible sketch she drew of him (without even knowing it was him). And now he says, as matter-of-fact as text alone can convey, that he got a good look at them. This is delayed mortification. ]
Then you should have seen that the sketches were not very good. I can never seem to get eyes right.
I would hardly expect you to do this simply because I asked. What would you consider proper compensation for your assistance?
[ Why so much drama over a simple sketch, he doesn't get it... ]
I am far from an artist, myself, but your work did look fine to me. I liked it, truly.
[ Sure, his attention may have been divided at the time, and he is, in no way, unbiased regarding the fact that Edelgard drew him, but it doesn't make it any less genuine; his judgement, maybe, never his sentiment. ]
And I require no compensation, either. Is it so strange that I would be willing to do something for [ hmm. ] you without expecting anything in return?
[ He's... he's literally told her that before... he doesn't get it... ]
[ Though her fiercest blushing has evened out, having him say he liked what she drew is enough to warm her cheeks again.
It is still strange to her that he would be so willing to do this, especially when he admitted that he is not entirely comfortable with it. They are on friendly terms right now (again?), but they aren't quite friends.
Are they? It seems considerably more complicated than that.
At any rate, she slumps against her pillow. He will have to forgive her for this minor momentary detour: ]
You saw those drawings and still said nothing. Did you feel tempted at all?
[ He's not comfortable with it, but he hopes she will eventually change her mind about sharing her work with him. They may not be quite friends, but he still enjoys her company, and will take any opportunity to spend time with her. As far as he's concerned, it's just that simple.
Her question, on the other hand, is not as much. He's not awake enough for this, but he'll sit up and trudge along, anyway. ]
Of course I did. But I was decided to keep it from you, at the time.
[ For reasons he has already confessed to. Why does she bring this up now...? ]
Does it bother you, that I did not tell you sooner?
[ For a long moment she isn't sure of how to answer. But she sighs in the darkness, illuminated by only the light from her bracelet's display, and tries to answer honestly. ]
I would not have believed that you could keep a secret for so long.
It would have been nice to know you when we met again.
[ Her gut instinct is to say it would not have changed her plans, but her plans went awry as it was. It just... would have been difficult to think of the boy from her childhood in quite the same way she had thought of the prince she considered a stranger to her. ]
I started drawing in earnest because I didn't want to forget the faces of people I once cared for.
[ Hmm. That is probably as straightforward an answer and he's going to get from her, but he does think it's honest. Much goes unsaid, but it's right there, in between the lines. ]
For what it is worth, I do regret it. It is a lesson I have carried with me ever since.
[ A lesson, and a reminder to always reach for her, even if she will not reach back. A risk worth taking.
The second half of her message gives him pause, though, a smile that is both happy to know she didn't want to forget, and sympathetic for his own reasons. ]
I understand your sentiment. To this day, I myself fear I will eventually forget the faces of those who are gone, but my friends made me realize that is simply the way of things. Sometimes people just... forget.
[ It's true that some of his actions make more sense to her when framed by what she knows now, but she has such doubt that they can ever truly understand each other that when they do have similar feelings it takes her by surprise.
Except, perhaps, similar feelings born of loss. Yes, he understands the desire not to forget dear faces he can't see any more. The last memories you have of beloved faces shouldn't be so cruel. ]
Time has a way of eroding memories, it's true, and there is little we can do about its passage. I suppose I can accept that much gracefully.
[ But she is young and doesn't think of herself as a particularly forgetful person. She can pinpoint the likely catalyst for muddled memories, a mental stress and strain to match the physical stress and strain of her captivity, and even though she knows well that nothing about it was her own fault the fragility of her childhood memories still sometimes feels like a personal failure.
She idles with her hands poised to say more, and it takes her a minute but she gets there. ]
I appreciate your thoughts. It wasn't my intention to steer us a bit off course.
[ Hmm. So she says, but from what he recalls of their childhood together and what he has learned in their time of reacquaintance, Edelgard is not the type to simply accept what can still be fought against.
Selfishly, he wonders how much of that fierce resolution of hers was born of their oath from long ago. ]
Think nothing of it. To be frank, I am happy you shared as much with me.
[ He hesitates to add more, but only for a second. ]
And if it is of any consolation, I do not begrudge you. For having forgotten.
[ In case she didn't understand the full extent of his previous message. ]
Then I will borrow you mid-afternoon. I would prefer to have you sit where you feel most natural so perhaps I should go to you.
[ Let the record show that other than her unwillingness to share her work she tried to allow him to tailor the experience to his comfort. Now he just has to live with her decisions. ]
This wasn't supposed to make you lose more sleep, Dimitri.
[ But that does not mean she won't tease him a little. ]
You can back out if you don't think yourself up for the challenge.
[ She meant to take advantage of the possibility of them both having trouble sleeping, not to cause more trouble sleeping. But if this is how he intends to be...! ]
I was thinking I would take a short walk before I try to sleep again. It sounds as though you may need to join me.
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I did, actually.
[ Yes, having her bent over the desk for him was certainly a priority, but never underestimate the power of his double boners. Aroused as he was, how could he not have paid attention to a drawing of him that Edelgard had made? ]
That aside, yes, I would still be willing to. You did ask, after all.
[ And hasn't he told her that before, too? As long as it's in his power to do, she only needs ask. ]
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Then you should have seen that the sketches were not very good. I can never seem to get eyes right.
I would hardly expect you to do this simply because I asked. What would you consider proper compensation for your assistance?
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I am far from an artist, myself, but your work did look fine to me. I liked it, truly.
[ Sure, his attention may have been divided at the time, and he is, in no way, unbiased regarding the fact that Edelgard drew him, but it doesn't make it any less genuine; his judgement, maybe, never his sentiment. ]
And I require no compensation, either. Is it so strange that I would be willing to do something for [ hmm. ] you without expecting anything in return?
[ He's... he's literally told her that before... he doesn't get it... ]
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It is still strange to her that he would be so willing to do this, especially when he admitted that he is not entirely comfortable with it. They are on friendly terms right now (again?), but they aren't quite friends.
Are they? It seems considerably more complicated than that.
At any rate, she slumps against her pillow. He will have to forgive her for this minor momentary detour: ]
You saw those drawings and still said nothing. Did you feel tempted at all?
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Her question, on the other hand, is not as much. He's not awake enough for this, but he'll sit up and trudge along, anyway. ]
Of course I did. But I was decided to keep it from you, at the time.
[ For reasons he has already confessed to. Why does she bring this up now...? ]
Does it bother you, that I did not tell you sooner?
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I would not have believed that you could keep a secret for so long.
It would have been nice to know you when we met again.
[ Her gut instinct is to say it would not have changed her plans, but her plans went awry as it was. It just... would have been difficult to think of the boy from her childhood in quite the same way she had thought of the prince she considered a stranger to her. ]
I started drawing in earnest because I didn't want to forget the faces of people I once cared for.
no subject
For what it is worth, I do regret it. It is a lesson I have carried with me ever since.
[ A lesson, and a reminder to always reach for her, even if she will not reach back. A risk worth taking.
The second half of her message gives him pause, though, a smile that is both happy to know she didn't want to forget, and sympathetic for his own reasons. ]
I understand your sentiment. To this day, I myself fear I will eventually forget the faces of those who are gone, but my friends made me realize that is simply the way of things. Sometimes people just... forget.
no subject
Except, perhaps, similar feelings born of loss. Yes, he understands the desire not to forget dear faces he can't see any more. The last memories you have of beloved faces shouldn't be so cruel. ]
Time has a way of eroding memories, it's true, and there is little we can do about its passage. I suppose I can accept that much gracefully.
[ But she is young and doesn't think of herself as a particularly forgetful person. She can pinpoint the likely catalyst for muddled memories, a mental stress and strain to match the physical stress and strain of her captivity, and even though she knows well that nothing about it was her own fault the fragility of her childhood memories still sometimes feels like a personal failure.
She idles with her hands poised to say more, and it takes her a minute but she gets there. ]
I appreciate your thoughts. It wasn't my intention to steer us a bit off course.
no subject
Selfishly, he wonders how much of that fierce resolution of hers was born of their oath from long ago. ]
Think nothing of it. To be frank, I am happy you shared as much with me.
[ He hesitates to add more, but only for a second. ]
And if it is of any consolation, I do not begrudge you. For having forgotten.
[ In case she didn't understand the full extent of his previous message. ]
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I doubt you would be so accommodating of messages at this late hour if you did.
[ But it is nice to read. ]
Are you busy tomorrow?
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Not particularly, no. Should I start practicing staying still?
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Would you be more comfortable doing this there?
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I'm not sure it would make a difference to me. You may choose the place and time.
Regardless, I hardly think I will be able to fall asleep anytime soon now. This is quite the mission you are tasking me with.
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[ Let the record show that other than her unwillingness to share her work she tried to allow him to tailor the experience to his comfort. Now he just has to live with her decisions. ]
This wasn't supposed to make you lose more sleep, Dimitri.
[ But that does not mean she won't tease him a little. ]
You can back out if you don't think yourself up for the challenge.
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[ And he'll live with her decisions this time. It's not a free-for-all pass, Edelgard! ]
I can assure you I will not back down from my decision, either. Although you seem to misunderstand my reasons for losing sleep over this.
[ It's good anxiety. Excitement, really. ]
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Then what are your reasons?
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[ Two can play the teasing game. ]
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[ She meant to take advantage of the possibility of them both having trouble sleeping, not to cause more trouble sleeping. But if this is how he intends to be...! ]
I was thinking I would take a short walk before I try to sleep again. It sounds as though you may need to join me.
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[ Or summoning him? Honestly, he can never be too sure when it comes to Edelgard. ]
I would welcome a short walk, however. I imagine the weather has warmed up enough for you by now?
[ It's apparently something like springtime now, but he remembers how even spring nights in Fhirdiad would be too chilly for Edelgard as a child. ]
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I will have a cardigan in case the night still holds a chill, but I expect it to be pleasant enough.
[ His mild concern is cute, though. ]
Fortunately by now you are an expert at keeping people [ Her. ] warm so I think I have nothing to worry about.
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Ah, I see. So you invite me as a precautionary measure. I should have known you would have ulterior motives.
[ It's a tricky job, to convey tone through words alone, but he should hope she realizes he only means this in jest. ]
Just keep in mind that, as man from Faerghus, I might resort to methods you may deem unorthodox.
[ Some of which she might recall from their time snowed-in together. (Or: maybe he has ulterior motives of his own.) ]
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I am merely aware of the potential benefits of your company.
[ Especially on a cool night. ]
Have you been to the botanical garden? We can meet there and then discuss these unorthodox methods of yours.
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[ They are most definitely teasing now! Who would have thought... ]
I have never visited the botanical garden, myself, but I do know of its location. Shall we meet there in half an hour?
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[ Maybe it would not be as large and encompassing as his own, but still! ]
I'll see you there, Dimitri.
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[ Considerably more resistant to it than Edelgard, though he's not going to point that out. ]
I will see you soon, El.