[ Yes, Dimitri does understand that Felix -- or at least, the Felix he knew -- often grappled with the expectations thrown upon him oh so suddenly, to be a knight like Glenn was, to be the next Shield of Faerghus, to be everything he never willingly chose to. What he doesn't understand is what exactly it is that he did that Felix so badly takes issue with now, even though everything Dimitri has done so far was for the sake of treating him as his own person-- which Felix clearly also wishes for.
And that right there is another flaw in their judgement, isn't it? ]
But you did. Whether you had no desire to follow in their footsteps or not... you did.
[ Both Glenn's and Rodrigue's, yes, but right now, he means them-- the past version of Felix that he got to meet here. That he got to be intimate with, not always due to an influence. That had some... undisclosed sort of feeling for Dimitri past their old friendship and the bitterness of separation, and who stirred a similar feeling in him in return. Who never openly talked about it, either.
There's a pause, and a heavy exhale. Off the battlefield, Dimitri has never been great at confrontations. ]
Had you not been forced to discuss this right now, can you honestly tell me you would have wished to talk about it after the fact?
[ And, had circumstances not been so dire in a time of near death, would Felix have... said what he said? ]
Yes. I did. Because I didn't know. You kept it from me, deliberately. You...you let me...do all of that, thinking it was the first time. For--for us.
[Clearly not Dimitri's first time overall. The thought brings another surge of shame. Dimitri...there's no more accurate way to say it. Dimitri took advantage of the closeness he'd had with Felix's previous selves here. Made Felix believe it was about him, when it wasn't. Whether or not he wanted that with his king - wanted to give what he gave - is immaterial, because he gave it under false pretenses. He wishes he could take it back. He wishes so badly he could take it back and...and give it to Sylvain instead. But no one can turn back time.
He scowls at the question, but doesn't turn around. The more he thinks about this, the more he's not sure he will ever be able to look Dimitri in the face again.]
What difference does it make? None of this matters. You've made your choice. You made it before you ever...before I ever got here. What else is there to say?
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no subject
And that right there is another flaw in their judgement, isn't it? ]
But you did. Whether you had no desire to follow in their footsteps or not... you did.
[ Both Glenn's and Rodrigue's, yes, but right now, he means them-- the past version of Felix that he got to meet here. That he got to be intimate with, not always due to an influence. That had some... undisclosed sort of feeling for Dimitri past their old friendship and the bitterness of separation, and who stirred a similar feeling in him in return. Who never openly talked about it, either.
There's a pause, and a heavy exhale. Off the battlefield, Dimitri has never been great at confrontations. ]
Had you not been forced to discuss this right now, can you honestly tell me you would have wished to talk about it after the fact?
[ And, had circumstances not been so dire in a time of near death, would Felix have... said what he said? ]
no subject
[Clearly not Dimitri's first time overall. The thought brings another surge of shame. Dimitri...there's no more accurate way to say it. Dimitri took advantage of the closeness he'd had with Felix's previous selves here. Made Felix believe it was about him, when it wasn't. Whether or not he wanted that with his king - wanted to give what he gave - is immaterial, because he gave it under false pretenses. He wishes he could take it back. He wishes so badly he could take it back and...and give it to Sylvain instead. But no one can turn back time.
He scowls at the question, but doesn't turn around. The more he thinks about this, the more he's not sure he will ever be able to look Dimitri in the face again.]
What difference does it make? None of this matters. You've made your choice. You made it before you ever...before I ever got here. What else is there to say?